Friday, December 28, 2012

New thoughts, new ideas, new parts of my life

I don't really know where to begin, so...I won't.  This entry will just be a collection of ramblings, and comments on different things that are happening to me, around me, etc. 

I'm playing more at parties now.  I'm coming out of my shell more (believe it or not, I tend to be quieter in crowds), and strangely enough...people are responding.  In droves.  Being an extreme introvert, for a long time, I have been quite content staying home, working on projects, thinking up new ideas for kinky times, trying to find ways to make myself do what I do better, faster, and more intense.  In other words, I live inside my head and my heart much of the time.  If I'm not careful, my LACK of need for the company of others will get out of control, and the next thing I know, I'll not be able to remember the last event or social gathering I went to because it will have been so long since I'd been to one.  To avoid this, for the past few months, I've been making sure I attend at least one social event per week, and volunteering for different groups.  I was pleasantly surprised to see the welcome I received, and the positive response I got from nearly everyone I meet.  The party invites, girls-night-out invites, date requests, invitations to play were surprisingly frequent.  I'm not trying to brag, just speaking of how I really was surprised to see that taking place.  I keep to myself enough that it never occurred to me that people would seek out my company on a regular basis.

I'm still dropping weight, and since my "diet" became pretty much a different lifestyle, I don't even notice the "diet" anymore, or feel like I'm "dieting", so when the weight keeps coming off, it surprises me.  I've known for awhile that my clothes are getting too big, but that's because I wore them, so I would know first if they started fitting differently.  Now, other people are noticing that things don't fit me anymore.  I finally gave up on trying to make do with the foundation garments that I've had (i.e. underwear) and finally boxed up 30 pairs of panties, and 12 bras this weekend and put them away.  Then, of course, had to go out and buy all new ones. That sucked, since I don't wear cheap lingerie.  But, the panties simply had gotten so big that they weren't even comfortable anymore.  It literally felt like I had a bedsheet underneath my pants whenever I got dressed because there was so much extra fabric.  As for my bras, the straps wouldn't stay on my shoulders, and the rest of the bra wouldn't stay put because they simply weren't tight enough around to grip me anymore.  Don't even get me started on the bagginess of the cups, because I'll cry when I think of my breasts shrinking .  I was NEVER one of those ungrateful bitches who complained about her boobs being too big. I LOVED being stacked.  I still am, but...I really don't want them to get any smaller.  Other people have noticed that my shirts are too big, and they notice that I have to pull my pants up rather frequently.  It's nice, but as I said, since I don't notice myself dieting anymore, it's always a surprise when someone asks me about it.

My holidays were quiet, but nice.  I spent it with family, and people I share love with, so there's no better way to spend them, I figure.   Christmas is my favorite time of year, so as I sit in my living room and type this, I look at my Christmas tree, and am already lamenting having to put it away in a few days, along with all of my decorations.  

I'm getting closer to someone who up until now, was just a play partner.  A bond is growing, and that's ... surprising for me.  I'm pretty good at keeping my emotions in check when it comes to play, and sex.  I never had a problem separating sex/play from emotion.  In some ways, I'm pretty much a guy with tits.   So it was an interesting moment when I realized that there's someone in my life that I've been intimate with for awhile, but now, there's more affection, a deeper bond. Still not romantic love, or even infatuation, but...something else.  Respect, maybe? Love of the friendship variety, perhaps?  Who knows?  I just know that its reciprocated.  In fact, that's how I figured out my sentiments were changing, when I realized his were first.  It's a nice feeling knowing that the man I've chosen to share a big part of myself with appreciates it, and that we have found a mutual level of endearment, and that it is growing a bit.  It's nice to know that after only 2 years (lol), we really do like each other.  

I think I'm going to finish my glass of wine (label: The Prisoner-a beautiful red that I am now addicted to) and float away to the Land of Nod.

Directly underneath this post, there is a post I just put together that includes some pics and a video I took last night when My Marine came over for some post-holiday cheer.  And ass play.  

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