Wednesday, October 23, 2013

A hilarious post that I read on someone's Fetlife profile, and reprinted with permission

Miss Jenny, a Mistress from Victorville, CA posted this wonderful and hilarious (and so damn true) story/dialogue on her Fetlife profile.  It so clearly illustrates the types of questions and requests that us Mistresses get rather frequently. I loved it so much that I contacted her and asked permission to repost this.  Very tongue-in-cheek, and unfortunately, completely spot-on. 

Enjoy!!


ring ring
"Hello, Domme-ino's Pizza."
Um, uh... is this the pizza place?
"Yes, I just said that. How can I help you?"
Um, how much are your pizzas?
"It all depends on the toppings and the size you want."
What all do you have?
"We have a full menu and price list on our website."
Um, what IS a pizza?
"Seriously? Google it.
Or go to a pizza-munch, read "Screw the Sauce, Send me the Crust". Go to a class by Chef Melissa at Pepperoni of Decadence."
But I want YOU to tell me what all you have.
(Sigh)
"We have the normal, traditional TOPpings. Our specialty is Canadian BaconTomato and the Roman pizza with everything on it. Again, we have a website with a full menu."
What sizes do you have?
"Personal, small, medium, large and extra-large."
How much for just a slice?
"We don't sell pizza by the slice, you have to at least get a personal."
Can I get a Gyro or a Span a cockita with my pizza?
"We don't do Greek."
Can I get Crêpes?
"We don't do French - we are an authentic pizza place."
Toss a salad for me?
"Nope, you'll have to go to Black Anus for that."
Can I see pix of the pizza?
"We have pix on our website."
But I wanna see more. And without the box and closeups of the cheese.
"We don't serve pizza without the box; it's unsanitary."
Well, can't you just take a pic with your phone and send it to me? I want proof that the pizza is real.
"No. The pix on the website are more than sufficient. And we have reputable reviews on Yelp."
Ok. Do you deliver?
"No, we're dine-in only."
But I don't have gas money to get there!
"If you can't afford the gas, I don't think you can afford the pizza, hun."
Well, how much is it for just a personal pizza?
"Personal pizzas start at $5."
But I only have $3. Can I have a personal pizza for $3?
"No."
Can I get half of a personal pizza?
(laughs) No.
What can I get for $3?
"Nuffin."
Can I wash dishes for a free pizza?
"No, we have plenty of employees here."
Can I apply to be an employee?
"But you just said that you don't even know what a pizza is. Even if I wasn't fully staffed, I have a waiting list of experienced pizza boys."
Well, I think I can scrape together enough money for a personal Cane-adian bacon pizza and gas. I'll come now.
"Your pizza won't be ready for about 45 minutes. It needs cook time and there are several customers ahead of you."
But I'm hungry now! And I can only drive my Mom's car now.
"I'm sorry, you need to phone ahead."
Can I come at 10pm?
"No, the dining hall is booked for a party."
Can I come at 6am?
"No, we're closed. Our business hours are posted on the website."
Will you stay open late so I can get a pizza?
"Not for just a personal pizza."
Well, can I at least come down and have a taste of the pizza to make sure I like it?
"No, we don't give out free samples."
Can I come watch the pizzas being made?
"Only on class night, and there's an admission fee."
Can I have pizza at these classes?
"Yes, for an additional fee."
Oh, that's no good. Can I come down now and watch other people eating their pizzas to see how much they're enjoying it?
"No. My customers like to eat in peace."
What kind of pizza making utensils do you use?
"The normal - the big wooden paddle, the Wartenburg pizza slicer, the cheese cell-popper.... again, all detailed in the website."
Can I bring my own Hibatchi for you to cook the pizza with?
"Hibatchis aren't used in pizza making, that's all we do here."
Um, that's ok. Thanks. -click-
And off he went to look at online pix of Jack in 'er Box tacos...
Cos that's what he thinks pizza really is.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Recent Playtime Pics










One boy was kind enough to bring me coffee for our early morning playtime, and the bottom picture is that same lucky boy being sensually tortured with a Hitachi by Mistress Mari.  

Friday, October 18, 2013

Back into the swing of things, with a new partner in crime!

Hello out there!

Things are coming along nicely lately, and I'm loving my new space.  Whenever life gets stressful it's nice to be reminded how lucky I am that I have such an amazing outlet to decompress and step away from the world for awhile. 

My roommate, Mari (pronounce MARR-ee [ the 'mar' is pronounced the way it is in 'mars']) is also a kinkstress, a very physical player, who enjoys giving good beatings just as much as I do.  She ended up assisting with a playtime this week, and it was a tremendous success.  When I describe her as a physical player, I mean that what trips her trigger is the physicality of playing, much less so than the psychological or sensual aspect.  She likes to beat hard, and leave marks (if marks are ok, that is).  She's an achingly beautiful, muscle-bound yet small -framed beauty with ebony skin and long braids, and an exotic look reminiscent of Egypt or the Orient.  After the first playtime, I mentioned her to other play partners, and she's been in demand as my partner since. I'll post pictures soon.  If you have an interest in seeing us together (remember, she's a hard player, not a sensual player) an hour session is $250. 

Today, I got to play with a boy that I have played with before. He enjoys corporal punishment, and bondage in the form of chains and shackles.  It was intense, and so relaxing!! Exactly what I needed. I love a good, hard, painful, playtime.  My muscles feel warm and loose afterwards.  AND he brought me a gift: a stock!! Like the kind that you put around someone's neck and wrists.  I am so excited to use this new toy!!


Wednesday, October 2, 2013

I know... this is a long time coming.

Hello Everyone,

I know I fell off the face of the earth for while (almost 3 months).  Lots of stuff happened, and things have smoothed out considerably. Nothing horrible, just life stuff.  And a few changes.

The biggest change is that I am now no longer in Tempe.  I was renting the house I lived in, and one day the landlord knocked on my door and informed me that the owners decided to "sell". I use quotation marks because I'm pretty sure it went into foreclosure.  Either way, I moved, and I am no longer in Tempe.  I am now renting a house in the Biltmore area, near 12th Street & Camelback.  

I have an entire studio/guesthouse at my disposal full of dungeon equipment. I'm a happy girl!! And a pool, too, of course, I'll have to wait a few months to use it now that the weather is finally breaking.  All things considered, I'm still in a very good place, and I'm still happy, so life is good. As usual.  :) 

Clients are already taking up a lot of my time, and I'm having lots of fun, so please don't hesitate to drop me a text and set up your appointment. Just be willing to be flexible with time.