Thursday, July 19, 2012

A concern....

Originally posted 12-14-2010

I've noticed a trend over the past month and a half or so, and, at first I wasn't going to mention it in this blog, but, since it keeps happening, I feel it needs to be addressed.
I deal, for the most part, strictly with kink, BDSM, D/s, and guided fetish explorations.  I love what I do.  And, thanks to the fact that I usually attract really cool guys(and the occasional girl), 95% of the time, I love who I'm doing it with.  Now, I say I deal with kink "for the most part" because I do occasionally stray a bit from that path.  Since I'm great with my hands, I've given full body massages before to people who have asked for them.  Why not?  It's still something I enjoy.  I love the sharing of energy that takes place during a massage, and unless that person is an absolute energy sucker, I usually leave these sessions feeling almost as relaxed and refreshed as they do.  I have one gentleman who visits me every few months simply to wash my hair and brush it dry.  So, I don't make myself stick with only kink, or only those activities that fit into traditional "Dominatrix" repertoire. And, I'm sure there will be more deviations from this set of self-imposed guidelines in the future as I see fit.

My concern lately, is that a growing # of men are booking appointments with me, and expecting things that you would normally seek from a GFE provider.  Now, if they ask for such things over the phone, I can head them off at the pass, and tell them "Sorry, that's not on my menu.".  However, what I'm encountering is guys booking appointments for kinks and fetishes that I DO advertise, and then once they're here and the ball gets rolling (pun totally intended), they ask for these GFE activities.  It's an awkward moment when I have to tell them "No."  Their response is usually that they've seen another entertainer of some sort, and she did it, so why don't I?  (insert angry/petulant/whiny/demanding tone here).  They're not all having tantrums.  2 of them were very polite and gentlemanly about it.  But, when they say "well, s0-and-so does it!" all that gets them is my response of "Well, then you need to go back to her." and unless they start doing some serious back-pedaling, the session ends. An extreme example:  One dumbass found out how good of a right hook I have when in the middle of a session, he tore open the front of my dress and painfully grabbed one of my breasts.  This was right after he informed me he was going to fuck me in the ass.    Another guy was in the middle of a CBT session, and he grabbed a rubber glove and started putting it on.  I asked him what he was doing, and he said "I'm gonna stick my finger in your ass."  WHERE and WHEN did I ever say that either of those two things would be an option with me??? And, for the record...neither of them asked if they could insert one of their appendages into my ass, they just TOLD me they were going to.  In case you couldn't guess, it didn't happen for either of them.

I think entertainers out there owe it to themselves to do only what they want to do, when they want to do it, with whom they want to do it with.  Not because someone expects it.  Like I said.  I love what I do.  It's a sexual turn-on.  When a session goes well, usually my panties are soaked and I have to masturbate as soon as the gent leaves.  Also, when I do things a bit out of my standard comfort zone, or something I don't offer to everyone, it's because there's something about you that I like.  There's a connection that we've made somehow, and it's something that I would have done with you anyway, regardless of the tribute. Example:  When I did my first completely nude session a few months back.  It was with someone I had seen many, many times, and we adored each other.  We connected on a very deep level, and I TRUSTED him.  Do I do that with everyone?? Nope.  Not even close.  He's been the only one.  And it wasn't the money, or that I felt I "owed him" or that I was worried he wouldn't come back.  It was that I knew from our first session that he loved to see his Dommes unclothed, and we liked each other so much that I wanted to do what I could to make the session more exciting for him. came my clothes.  As in..walking around, cracking whips, throwing floggers, and swinging paddles completely in the buff(except maybe for my boots).   Yes, I've exposed my breasts, and my ass, and occasionally, my pussy as the situation warrants.  But never all at once.  Why not?  Cuz I just don't.  Doesn't matter why.

My point is, you won't get anywhere demanding something of me, or expecting it just because you got it somewhere else.  As I told another local kinkstress a while back: I never say never anymore.  I don't say "I'll never do this or that. I mean, how am I going to know what I'm in the mood for next week or month or whatever?  Maybe somebody completely and totally cool, awesome, and hot will walk through the door and we'll hit it off completely.  Why would I want to limit the fun I can have with them?  I'll do what I want and not give a shit what other people think anymore.  Besides myself, the only person who needs to be cool with what I do is my boyfriend.  And, he is, because he trusts my judgment.  Every escort and professional kinkster out there follows their own rules, and just because one of us does something, doesn't mean we all do.  Pay close attention to what she advertises in her postings, and what she writes about in her blogs.  This will give you a decent idea of what she likes, and what she is comfortable with.  And, if you plan on asking her for something a bit out of the ordinary, wait until there's a measurable level of comfort established.  Let her get to know you.  And, keep in mind that just because she did something with someone else, doesn't mean she'll do the same thing with you.


  1. Kiley December 15, 2010 5:54 PM

    Stormy, part of the problem is because of the advertising…BP is the home of the escort, and since they are moving into the Dom/Fetish category (even though they don’t even know how to spell “Paddles”, LOL!) the guys who shop in our category are expecting ALL the providers there to furnish the same services. Like you, I may be in the mood to do various things with various people that I don’t do otherwise, but when they ask right up front, I tell them no…whether I might want to or not with them, I’m not going to let that be the focus of the session. As far as while in a session?? I have plenty of large, heavy wooden objects, tons of rope and a bull whip or two that keeps them in line

  2. Stormy K. December 18, 2010 5:27 AM

    Kiley: Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It’s always nice to hear the other ladies input. I think the attitude “We’ll do what we want, not what you demand” is pretty pervasive here.

    For the record, the guy who wanted to stick his finger in my ass was a regular who saw me for a few months, 3-6 times per month. When I wouldn’t let him do that, he left and never came back. All I can think is “Fuck him. Good riddance. Glad I never have to deal with that bullshit from him again.” I’d rather lose a regular than place his desires above my comfort zone

  3. Miss Fortunes February 15, 2011 5:24 AM

    Ok Ok…I take responsibility for SOME of this, but girl you know noone is sticking a finger in my ass. Just saying…\
    WAIT, there was one time a long time ago, during a session with Noir where I was tied up. Noir left the room for a second and that guy took that moment to slip his finger in my ass. THIS was the moment I had to let him know “Im going to be free at some point and I most definitely will kick your ass if you dont get your shit out of my ass”…so for that I take no responsibiity. The other…it is what it is and I LIKE IT

    I agree…we should just do what we want and who cares anyway? I cant believe that men think we are all the same like Subway…ridiculous. Do your thang girl…

  4. Stormy K February 15, 2011 9:51 PM

    @MisFortunes: I promise, I wasn’t laying the responsibility for this phenomena on anyone in particular. The rude behavior is stemming from these naughty boys, not from the ladies they’re playing with. I think every one of us should do what we love, what we want, and what feels good. It was just getting seriously annoying when these guys were trying to shove us all into 1 particular box (why?? variety is a GOOD thing). There’s also the simple fact that, as a Domme(who sometimes has a Domme attitude), I take major offense when someone basically says to me “I want you to be like _______ (insert name of entertainer).”. Yeah, that REALLY pisses me off

  5. Stormy K February 15, 2011 9:55 PM

    Part 2 (cuz I cant just write something short)…this whole situation reminds me of a credo that I heard years ago that made a whole lot of sense to me:

    “Never demand as a right, what you can ask as a favor.”

    If ya really think about that sentence, it can apply to anything. I find myself going back to this method of taking action quite a bit, and the results are usually in my favor. Much more so than if I just walked into a situation ready to nail someone’s balls to a wall.

  6. Miss Fortunes February 18, 2011 5:32 PM

    YES…I so totally agree, “can you be more like ____” has pissed me off too! Ongoing joke with me…the guy who asked me to role play shorter. Shorter…is a hard limit for me LOL LOL. Good morning sunshine, I’m hittin up your blog early

  7. Stormy K (February 19, 2011 6:24 AM

    Shorter? Really?

    Sounds like you had as much fun with that guy as I did with the guy who requested a mommy/son roleplay session for spanking and as soon as the session started, asked me to perform this roleplay while NOT SPEAKING. At all. Not a fun session for me.