I'm sitting back, relaxing after a very satisfying session with a regular play partner. Just what I needed to clear my head, and loosen some of the tension. I've had a sinus headache for 3 days, and no matter what I do for it, it won't go away. So, I just deal with it as best I can. When I play, the pain subsides, probably from riding the "high" that always comes with a good, deep session. IT comes back within a few minutes of the session being over, of course, but, there is at least a temporary respite.
He reads my blog regularly, and was one of the ones who decided to take advantage of the special reduced tribute this week that I mentioned in a previous blog. And the sessions resulting from that special are just what the doctor ordered: relaxed, fun, exciting w/o the nervousness. I always liked to consider myself as kinky to the cor, but...not a slave to those desires. But, I'm realizing in the past 6 months or so, that when I don't play(personally OR professionally), I just feel out of sorts. I finally had to come to terms with this fact about a week ago. I had been feeling seriously depressed (it runs in my family-only hits me every 6-8 years for about a week or so, then I can pull myself out of it) and was having trouble shaking it off. I got invited to a kinky b-day party that I immediately said NO to until the hostess begged me to come out and do a fire-cupping on the birthday girl. So, I got dressed to the 9's, wearing black leather slingback peeptoe heels, a vintage print dress with a very plunging neckline and did my hair into a Bettie Page-style updo. At the party, I had a light scene with a very nice boy whom I had never met before, but he had fantastic energy. On the way home, I realized that I had snapped mostly out of my depression. Was it just getting dressed up and going to the party? I doubt it. The scene I had didn't happen until about 5 hours into the party, and until then, I had been a basket case. I realized that it was just the act of playing that was so beneficial. I hate to think that I'm that dependent on ANYTHING to be peaceful and happy, but, so be it. At least other people get to come along for my ride and enjoy the trip with me.